Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I Fought The Law (among other things)


The campus secuity at my Alma Mater is rock solid. They are all eyes and they are all ears. Public Safety (as they are known) is a force of nature; everpresent and always on top of things.

I have had my old stickers on my car since I graduated in May. For some reason or another, I have not been able to remove them. Not for lack of ability, but let us say sentimentality; yes, that will do. Being unable to remove them entirely, I simply employed the technique of keying them up a little whenever I passed. In short, I defaced them beyond all reason. But this was apparently not enough.

I had several minor interactions with the Public Safety during my collegiate years not worth mentioning. However this sticker business is pretty good. I can imagine the hours spent by security combing the campus for my rouge Chevy. The jet black automobile with the forbidden stickers. Her name is Angie and she is mine. What a pretty car she is.

In anycase, the rough story is thus: For whatever reason I've just not felt like taking off the stickers or stopping and having a chubby someone scrape them off with, I dont' know, a goat or something. I was going to meet a friend on campus by my car at the appointed time. As I say goodbye to Erin and she goes to class, I see Cedar leaning on my car. "CORY!" he bellows, glasses glinting in the September sun. "You're not going to believe this." And if you could hear Cedar you would not believe it either. Long story short, Public Safety is gunning for my car and had interrogated Cedar, albeit rather ineptly, just now. The following is abbreviated and not the full encounter to protect the semi-innocent.

* * *
P.S.: So, is this your car?
Cedar: No.
P.S.: Wull, who's is it.
Cedar: It's my friend's.
P.S.: Wull, who is he?
Cedar: I'll never tell.
* * *

And this went on, I am told.

So in the end, yesterday after lunch, I walk back to my car after visiting Erin and what do I see? My stickers are gone.

And I wonder who back at the station got the medal.

6 comments:

Gwen said...

I'M DYING!!! The thought of Cedar saying "I'll never tell". in that Cedar voice. wow.

Cory said...

The best part is there's more.

Hannah said...

I think it's hilarious! I used to work for Public Safety, so I can just see it now, some over-energetic kid, wanting to please his shift supervisor, or thinking you were breaking the law or something. I can just see [name omitted to protect the not-so-innocent] shaking his head, thinking highly of himself and lowly of the car owner--you. Yes, it causes me to laugh. I say, good for you for leaving the stickers on so long. I didn't last more than a couple weeks after I ended my time in association with the school. Mostly, though, my husband was scared of people defacing our car in the Wal-mart parking lot if we left the stickers on much longer . . . it's been known to happen. That's why Dr. Bob and other administrators don't have stickers on their cars, you know.

mgemb said...

"I had several minor interactions with the Public Safety during my collegiate years not worth mentioning."

hmm...the time you got interrogated was a pretty good story, too :)

Cory said...

there's a handful of nutty stories dating back not too long ago with that place.

Gloamer said...

Ugg, they've nailed me three times this year. They're like the gestapo meets robo-cop. Only in the Jr. Higher mini version.